I wanna passion pit in your ass
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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