Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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