super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
