We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
