she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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