# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
