Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
