Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
either way he was missing a nipple.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
