also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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