when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
