the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
