thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
