forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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