So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
