I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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