I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
