Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
