Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
