In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm way too hungover for life right now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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