White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
