we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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