She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
