I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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