4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
