I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
