I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
