That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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