just come out here and I will go home with you...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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