Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
