He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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