i think i have two assholes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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