Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The best revenge is premature balding
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
