you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
