FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
