She is in my trunk
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize