Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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