when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize