in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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