Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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