I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
