i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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