the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
