I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
