OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
