If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
