hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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