the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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