You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
