She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
