I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
