Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
