I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
