I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
