New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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