the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
