He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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