Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
