you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
