Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
