Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
